A Meeting of the Musings: A Single Act Play

The stage is bright but dark. A slow bongo plays just offstage amplified by a microphone. It’s rhythm steadily increases, the tension builds and then deafening silence. Dan enters from stage left as Des enters from stage right

Dan: Des, I have the best, most exciting idea
Des: I’m intrigued but will withhold excitement
Dan: You know how we’ve gathered together a bunch of awesome nerd podcasts on the Musings of Geek Podcast Network
Des: It’s so obvious that I know that. This is purely expositional
Dan: Well I’ve had the best idea ever! We are going to all skype in and do one massive podcast with the whole group!
Des: There are a myriad of things wrong with that proposal. Not least of which, it will be upwards of 20 people just talking over each other.
Dan: Well I’ve already emailed everyone so it’s definitely happening
Des: Watching chaos isn’t usually one of my past times but this seems like a rare opportunity. I’ll be there.

Dan and Des exit together on stage left. The lights go down and the podcast studio set is placed on stage. Dan, Des, Will, Brandon, and Gwen fighting for table space for their microphones as the curtain comes up.

Dan: Alright enough enough. Everybody just try to squeeze in as best you can. I made a short summary of what we are going to discuss that should be in front of you.
Des: Mine just says Intro and then Chaos.
Dan: Well that is what you get for being negative.
Brandon: I want fruit, maybe a banana… or an avocado
Gwen: Avocado is not a fruit
Brandon: It could be though
Everyone: No it couldn’t
Will: (makes noises but is too quiet to be heard)
Dan: Okay! Not everyone was available but we do have Jeff and Jason from History of Bad Ideas Podcast, Neil and Annaleis from Dark and Angels and Pretty Freaks, Nickel, VF, and Doc from Graphic Novice and Amy, Bob, and Matt from Culture Babble along with everyone we have here who represent the Musings of Geek Podcast, the Arkham Social Hour and Pilots Podcast.
Des: Expositional(Cough)
Dan: Huh?
Des: Just clearing my throat

The lights go down and everyone exits the stage. Lights come up. Jeff and Jason enter the studio and sit.

Jason: I’m pretty psyched for this mega musings podcast episode.
Jeff: Did you write down all of your Edmonton Oiler jokes to make sure you don’t forget any.
Jason: Of course, they’re right here but I think I have most of them memorized.
Jeff: I got us ironic Oilers jerseys to wear for the taping

Jeff hands Jason a Jersey. The lights go down an Jeff and Jason Exit. Lights come up Nickel, VF, and Doc enter the studio and sit.

Nickel: Alright you guys we need prove that we are the best Canadian podcast on the network
VF: I thought our podcast was about comic books
Nickel: We should start by singing Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On
Doc: We aren’t even Canadian
VF: And everyone is pretty sure you aren’t really Canadian either
Nickel: I have been hashtag pound #excited about this for weeks.  We will be singing, I will be alto.

The lights go down and Nickel, VF, and Doc exit. The lights come up. Neil and Annaleis enter and sit.

Neil: Do you have all the ingredients for mimosas, dirty shirley temples, and/or just a bottle of tequila?
Annaleis: Oh I have tequila
Neil: Perfect! What do you think we should talk about on the mega show
Annaleis: Top 5 Favorite places to travel to find an amazing bookstore
Neil: That’s cool but it seems too specific for the mega show
Annaleis: It’s cool, Culture Babble is already on board
Neil: Then pour a drink!

The lights go down on Neil and Annaleis and they exit. The lights come up as Amy, Bob, & Matt enter and sit

Amy: Alright, we’re the newest and the most untested podcast so far. We really need to impress all the other podcasters.
Bob: Oh, it’s on.  It’s not even a thing.  This is already done and done
Matt: I’m not sure we’re really ready for this yet
Amy: I got us all Monsters to get our energy up.  I’m serious do not blow this

Amy, Bob, & Matt exit.  Dan, Des, Will, Brandon, and Gwen enter and sit.  The lights come up.

Dan: Okay is Culture Babble coming through
Amy: Yes, did you get my email
Dan: Which one – I got 4 from you today
Amy: It’s pretty important to me that this podcast episode pass the Bechdel test
Dan: Sure, that can probably happen.
Amy: Okay so we are going to have a segment where it’s just Gwen, Annaleis, and I digging into the plot holes found in Science Fiction in regard to the use of female characters
Dan: Wait what?
Amy: I’ll have an outline out to everyone in 5
Dan: That seems unnecessary, but okay.  How about Graphic Novice?
Nickel: Oh, Canada
Dan: DAPF?
Neil: We are here and we are ready to Partayayayayeah
Dan: History of Bad Ideas
Jason: Bad Idea #1,324 would be not being here

Dan: Alright awesome, now that we have everyone we are going to hit record here and then everyone go around and introduce yourselves.  We’ll start with everyone in my studio and then skypers I will cue you when you need to go.  3…2…1…

Indistinguishable who is speaking

I am BATMAN
Doctor Who is the perfect show it’s funny and happy and sad and awesome
When I try to think of the perfect way to spend the day I think Canada, Hockey, & hilarious jokes
Horn snozzle
Wait I thought we were going around?
Pound Excited
Sometimes when I can’t think of what I want to say I just say random words
Guys can you not all talk at once
The Edmonton Oilers are so bad they make the Cincinnati Bengals look good SELF BURN
Can we talk about comics
Drinks all around!
Well obviously this was never going to work.
Pickle Chips
One a scale from 1 to ready to throw a shoe I am a 7 so can we pull it together
Bahahahaha snort
What about our female character segment
Nothing says I am Canadian quite like constantly repeating that I am Canadian

Lights dim and the chatter slowly fades.  Curtain Falls

Fin

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